Covered With Dust: The Games You Probably Never Played Vol. 3
A Review Blitz by Pepsi Ranger

We've spent two months holding our breaths (either in anticipation or to fight off the encroaching stench). Now it's time to reveal the final four.

Unlike the games mentioned in the first two parts, the top contenders are actually worth playing. If anyone deserves a place in the spotlight, it's the games that I'm about to list.

The fight was brutal. The competition, fierce. But in the end, only one game can stand strong. And only one game can be crowned champion. Out of a list of hundreds, only one game could win this lottery of chance.

And now it's time for the moment you've been waiting for...

Your final four: 

-4th Place-
Capacity: Illusion of Earth
By Justin Lucas
Released: November 18, 2004

Believe it or not, some of the OHR's underrated and forgotten games are pretty decent. Capacity: Illusions of Earth is one such game. While offering nothing more than an interactive demo, it does pack that interactivity with two dungeons, a town, a minuscule world map, and a pond from which the hero can drink (restoring his strength). And with the obligatory weapon and armor upgrades and cheesy easy boss battle (Arnold Schwarzenegger as a stone man), it's very difficult to categorize this title as an unfinished piece of crap.

But that's not what you came here to read about. Is it?

So either Entrand is a genius or the other kids are dimwits. Got it.

The story begins with a wandering traveler named Justin entering a place called "North Town" where a blue haired kid named Entrand, who's accused of stealing bread, and a fat baker, who's chasing him into a mansion, assault him. Justin, who doesn't know these people, hears the story firsthand (after experiencing the assault firsthand) from a mansion guard who almost immediately disavows all knowledge of the conversation he just had with this stranger (Justin), because disclosing such information would be considered dangerous.

Yeah, we just spoke...like not even a minute ago.

Justin doesn't know what the heck is going on, but being a seeker of adventure (or rest), he begins traveling the small town for information that could help him in his journey.

In his small tromp around town, he discovers armories, bakeries, and hidden pathways to out-of-the-way houses.

He also discovers a healing spring next to the armory, which makes his need for the neighboring inn (and its ten-dollar fee) useless.

After much walking and little input from the community, Justin finally decides he's had enough with the town and heads for the exit. Only, when he gets there, a frantic mother runs into town, nearly knocking him over, crying about how her son went missing in a nearby cave.

Ma'am, you don't know me. What if I'm one of...those types of guys? And who are you calling an SOB?

Because Justin is the star of the game, he makes his way across the massive world map to the cave where Timmy seems to have gone AWOL. After many gruesome and bloody battles with living weeds, he enters the cave to find Entrand, the boy thief who raised the town into a stir, fighting a rock-handed creature.

All this walking makes me tired.

All this fighting makes me tired.

All this screaming makes me tired.

After a quick double team against the rock creature, Justin and Entrand go spelunking the cave for red treasure chests and blue boys named Timmy. And after traversing several chambers of rocky goodness, plundering chests high and low (with one high one that can be accessed from below), Justin and Entrand find the helpless Timmy perched on a ledge behind a sadistic stone man who could probably win the Mr. Universe competition if he entered.

Yes...

But who am I before E except after C to judge?

Gosh, I hope it isn't Timmy.

Oh good, it's just the rock monster I smell. Whew.

The battle, like all battles in the game, resolves quickly with Mr. Universe crumbling to dust and our heroes returning the goofy kid to his mom without even requiring the use of a healing item.

Then, after the mom thanks the heroes without a proper reward (like with kisses or brownies), the heroes set off to the governor's mansion to find out why he framed Entrand with the accusations of thievery.

Wait. Does that mean we're floating in some void? Groovy.

After finding the secret entrance and traversing a sparsely decorated mansion with the game's title screen as wall art, the heroes stumble into a trap. As it turns out, the governor is up to no good.

You were serious about that? Crap.

Get your free limited edition Capacity: Illusions of Earth title screen wall art today.

Someone beat us to the treasure!!! Oh, and that gate's trapping us in. That's bad, too.

It's nowhere, and you're not actually going because the demo ends here. Loser:P!!!

So, as I was saying, the governor is up to no good. And he shows it when he locks the heroes in a room with an empty treasure chest, threatening to send them to a prison in some place called Radson (maybe a cheap knock on the experience of sleeping in a Radisson hotel?), where he claims they will rot forever and get boyfriends (not necessarily in that order). And then Justin wakes up in a black cutscene superimposed with blue dialogue, gets called "the chosen one," and then receives a promise that the game will be updated someday.

Well, so far that promise hasn't been kept.

In the end, the player is left with a question. Was this fun? Did I spend my hour wisely? Okay, that's two questions, but the player is nonetheless stuck with the question(s). The answer, I can safely say, is that this is an OHR RPG. For that, the answer(s) is/are unlimited.

So what can be said about this game after all is said and done? According to my research, Chaos Nyte liked it a lot. Therefore, it must have something going for it.

Conclusion: I still have three more games to review. Blah.

Story Potential: 3

Presentation: 5

Completion Level: 3

Verdict: It's probably the only complete demo on the list, which is scary given the ratio of completed demos versus incomplete demos on this list. Well designed so far.

Parting Words: Why are there so many incomplete demos (games without endings) on the Game List? This should be an article in of itself.

 -3rd Place-
386-DX
By Linkmax
Released: July 16, 2004

Okay, I gotta say, as stupid as I thought this game would be initially, I actually laughed at the premise. It starts out with the hero Jack trying to start his computer, only to find out that Windows is an invalid program. Remembering the same joke in a professional game called Space Rangers 2 where Windows was looked upon by future civilizations as a virus I had to appreciate this game's beginning. The joke then gets better when the hero breaks his computer and decides to go kill someone out of frustration.

Windows has that effect on people, unfortunately. But I think AOL would've been the more accurate choice for this scenario.

He immediately steps outside and goes into an Office Space style frenzy against various forms of office equipment (he actually only fights one type, but many would've made it more dramatic). One battle in particular pits the hero against a horde of computer monitors. It's actually quite threatening this early in the game until you realize that, like in real life, the computers don't fight back.

Byte me, IBM.

Of course, he goes into these ballistic rages every couple steps, so getting from one house to another requires about fifty computer beatings (equaling roughly seven random encounters).

Step out the door.

Then, seven battles later...

Reach the door.

When he finally makes it to the house next door, he reaches his target: The neighborhood shopkeeper.

Instead of buying a new item/computer/whatever, however, he fights the redheaded guy with what looks like a bow in his hair to the death.

And when Jack wins, he lets the player in on a little secret.

Finished game! Finished game!

Overall this game is short and pointless, but it does have an amusing concept, works bug-free as far as I can tell, and has a definitive end. Though it's acquired nearly 1200 downloads since 2004 it never made a name for itself among the Castle Paradox lurkers. But it should have. It's the kind of game that might actually bode well with the OMFG TIZ ROXORS subculture of gaming—or at least among the wannabes—if given the chance.

Story Potential: 5

Presentation: 3

Completion Level: 5

Verdict: The only finished RPG on the list is also the funniest. Pointless gameplay, but great satire makes this worth the download.

Parting Words: Anything that reminds me of Office Space is a good thing.

 -2nd Place-
Toy Town
By Iblis
Released: May 10, 2006

The game that helped SimCity get its groove back, this simulation is actually very cool for what it does; though, it doesn't really do anything.

Here's the premise: you're given the tools and the freedom to build your own model town. You can lay streets wherever you want. You can drop houses wherever you want. Trees, water, etc. It all works. All you need is a mouse to click and drop stuff with.

Start with a blank canvas.

Then drop some streets and houses.

Make sure to toss in a pond and some trees.

And end up with something resembling a village.

There's no goal, no time limit, no need for variety. It's just a sandbox designed for the author's imagination.

In other words, it's a cool game that you'll get bored of in about five minutes.

But it's also a great example of what crazy things the OHR can do with the right scripts. And it alternates types of objects when you place them, which I think is cool. If it had little people sprites or fauna roaming around, I think it would be even cooler.

Bonus points go to the author for including the plotscript file with the game.

Worth checking out.

Story Potential: 1

Presentation: 5

Completion Level: 4

Verdict: Not a game, but a glorified model builder. Limited appeal, but offers some neat tricks.

Parting Words: I wouldn't mind hearing some twittering birds in the background, too. Come to think of it, a neighborhood watch would also make for a fine addition. 

-1st Place-
And your high rolling Covered With Dust 2008 champion is...
Duh duh da dah!

BlackJack OHR
By Ysoft Entertainment
Released: June 10, 2006

Most everyone should know how to play Black Jack—the popular card game of random simplicity that can make or break a man with an undefined level of luck. The rules are simple: Beat the dealer, but don't go over 21. You break 21, you lose.

BlackJack OHR (don't know why the words aren't spaced, but whatever) is no exception. You play the OHR version the way you'd play the real game.

The difference here, however, is that here you have a background story.

Yes, BlackJack OHR is about more than just playing cards for money. It's about playing cards for money for rent. It's about survival, as winter is coming and you don't want to be stuck living under a bridge when it hits. Winning BlackJack OHR means winning your life for another month.

All it takes is a savvy bet and some good hands.

Fortunately, the game's interface makes playing the cards easy. Just press the corresponding letters on your keyboard to "Bet," "Deal," "Hit," "Stay," or "Quit."

And then you're off for some gamblin'.

Ooh...20. Suck it, dealer.

May I have a napkin for my face please?

It's not always easy to win, but sometimes it pays to take risks.

But most of the time it doesn't.

And sometimes it doesn't matter what you do because the dealer is retarded.

You have a...5.... You're not even trying, are you, dealer?

Overall, this game is cool. Ysoft could've made this into just some lame reproduction of a game that someone with friends could play in real life. But instead he made an actual story to go with it (even if the story is weak, at least it's there and has a point), giving it purpose as a game. Definitely worth your time. Full marks deserved for its flawless reproduction of a classic design.

Story Potential: 6

Presentation: 6

Completion Level: 5

Verdict: Great game in every way. I hope this game climbs the popularity charts now that it's been crowned the 2008 Covered With Dust champion.

Parting Words: I'd like to play the sequel.

And that concludes the Covered With Dust competition. Yes, it's a lame contest, but it has quite a few participants, so it's all good.

If you disagree with the list, or if you think your game should've been considered, feel free to shake things up a bit in the Issue 20 discussion thread by casting your own list of favorites by order and voicing your opinion on which games you'd like to see go up against BlackJack OHR in future competitions.

Remember, this contest is more than a contest. It's a tournament. Other games will challenge our winner in time. Who wants to dethrone it?