1st Saga/Adventur
A Terrible Game Review Double Feature by Meatballsub

1st Saga
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1st Saga is your textbook terrible game. It has bad graphics, gameplay, little to no story, poor design, and just fails to live up to any decent standards. On top of that, it is very incomplete. The demo lasts only a few minutes and ends abruptly, but you won’t even make it that far unless you are familiar with the debugging keys. If you make it to the end, you are a brave person indeed.

Max Cornel must begin his quest immediately into the world unknown. You may choose to buy a weapon before you leave the sanctuary of town, but it won’t do you much good honestly. The “Sheild” boasts ridiculous stats though, so definitely pick that up.

You will learn quickly that the battles for Sir Cornel are not for the faint of heart. No, they don’t flash boobies. No, there isn’t excessive gore. Instead, the enemies attack twelve times each (to your one or two hits) and you must successfully hit them 8+ times each to destroy them. There is only a single battle formation used throughout the entire game, so you will fight the same two enemies the entire demo. In addition, both random foes you encounter are a ripoff of enemies in Fat Frog RPG. Seriously? Who rips from a game by Kumkwat Software? I don't know what's worse, the fact that I recognize sprites from Fat Frog, or that the author actually ripped something from that game. Regardless, run away, or put a rock on the enter key and go grab something to eat while you wait; It will be a while.

After plowing (or running) away at the monsters for a while, you will finally meet an unnamed king of a castle a little ways down the road. He states that his castle was overthrown by a single entity, and that the same man wiped out everything in the land but the King himself, which makes sense. Being the pansy that he is, the king gets you to do his dirty work. He also blueballs you by saying that help is near but can’t be used until you kill the guy in the Castle; Nice. For your troubles, the King gives you a spell that misses pretty much every time. That should prove to come in handy on your quest. Regardless, onward, to the enemy!

Yeah, this "entity" is pretty tough. In fact, I’m beginning to think he’s impossible. Seeing no real way to survive more than one round with the foe, I decided to skip him and continue the quest. Feel free to try and figure out how you can kill him fairly, but you will probably detour to the debugging keys as well. Back outside, the King is still convinced that you haven’t killed the enemy yet, and hands you out the same spell as before like it is candy. With nothing else to do here, continue on down the road to your next destination.

At the end of the path you will find a house with your "help"; a person by the name of Sagi. Wow partner, could have used you five minutes ago when I was getting my butt handed to me by that guy back at the castle! Sagi is a beast and will prove to be a welcome addition to your group. Moving forward a bit more makes the game come to a screeching halt. After getting the powerhouse Sagi, there’s nothing more to do than fight the same random enemy formation over and over again.

There’s not much more I can say about this game. The author ripped graphics from Fat Frog RPG; that should be enough to shoo most people away. The door links have also been placed in an idiotic manner, and nothing makes sense at all plot-wise. I think it’s safe to say the game is not worth your time, even if you are really bored. Even though there’s not really enough content to even call 1st Saga a demo, it has enough garbage in it already to officially be branded a Terrible Game.

Adventur by Zorg
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Ready for an adventure full of floating heads, slimes, and George Washington? A game that is such an epic adventure that the author thought it would be best to leave off the trailing "e" to Adventure? If you aren't excited yet, then perhaps the thought of travelling through dank dungeons, your mind, frozen fields, and a dying man's house will change your mind? It only gets better too. There is no dialogue save three or so textboxes, and your path is about as linear as it can get. Even with a straight path, Adventur requires a special type of person to play; a patient one.

Be prepared to grind to pass each and every new area. Think Fantasy Under a Blue Moon X without the witty dialogue, gorgeous graphics, or anything else that made the game great. Adventur makes you grind in the worst possible way. There is nothing to look forward to when you get to that next area. I suppose if your dream has been to destroy the cranium of George Washington, then there might be just a little to look forward to then.

Speaking of heads, those are your hero graphics. Yep, floating, disproportionate, grandmother-looking heads. You can tell right from the very beginning that Zorg spent little to no time making Adventur cosmetically pleasing. Most of your foes will be of the slime variety (different colors, same everything else), with a few snowballs (that blend in with the winter background) and midgets thrown into the mix.

If you needed any more awesomeness, don't forget that our hero's basic melee ability is to tongue his foes to death. You would figure that with a chin larger than The Tick's himself that Heckrick, our hero, would use that to his advantage. But no, he would rather do it the hard way. I guess in the end it doesn't really matter though, because 90% of your encounters are very simple if you are at the appropriate level.

Honestly though, I gave up after an hour playing. I had reached George Washington's secret passage and met with a golem boss that could smash me to bits within seconds. After grinding for an hour to try and beat him and failing miserably, I decided that's all I could take of this adventur...uh, adventure. If you are going to force the player to grind 90% of the game, at least make it a somewhat enjoyable experience or create a sense of reward after beating a near impossible challenge. Getting an invitation to Washington's basement isn't enough to keep me going.